I was chilly. Sitting in my bedroom nook working On my Bible study, my legs were Cold. I opened the closet in the home that Is still new to me and pulled out a Fleece lap blanket. It belonged to Sue who was Confined to a recliner for years with Her ALS. The coverlet was perfect. Each day I use Sue's dishes and Towels and sheets and more. I inherited her husband, a man she Loved so much that she told him, "I Want you to marry again when I'm gone." When I discover an overlooked box of Jewelry or a scarf tucked away in a Drawer, I feel like an intruder. But mostly I feel a sweet connection to A dear lady I never met. Sue's fingerprints will always be in this Home, and I am adding my own. She would be glad to know I'm Enjoying her things. And she would be glad to know that Danny followed her advice. |
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I emptied my condo of my clothes and
Transported them to my new home. Only a suit and a dress still hung in The corner of one closet, the Apparel Jack and I wore at our Wedding in Missy's living room 22 Years ago. I searched the pockets of the suit, Finding an old tissue and then Gently placed the clothing in a Black garbage bag for Good Will. It was an emotional moment for me. I remembered the joy of our Wedding day. I remembered how Jack had surprised Me by wearing the suit on our 13th Wedding anniversary, our last. But at the same time I was keenly Aware that the chapter of my life With Jack had closed. I had no regrets, only gratitude. I knew it was the proper time to Dispose of my past wedding garb. It was a new beginning for Danny and Me, a beautiful and blessed one. It was time to move on, to make New memories on our street so Aptly named, Memories Lane. Moving is strenuous and stressful,
Especially when you are nearing Eighty. Boxing up books, tons of them, Creating piles of "stuff" in the Garage: Discard, donate, Undecided. The task seems unending. How did my friend, who was a Chaplain's wife, move thirty times in Thirty years? But when I learned that my Friend's son and his family just Lost everything in a fire, my Attitude changed. I'm thankful for books to pack and Items to sort and discard. And I pray for the precious family who Must begin again from scratch. When you first came, over a
Decade ago, I was excited, eager to Get acquainted with the Yoders. And as you settled in, Pastor Mike, You matured, your family matured, and Your preaching matured as well. When my astute son-in-law was Here a few weeks ago, he said, "Your pastor will be hard to Replace." But perhaps "replace" isn't the Best word, for no one can ever Really replace another. I prefer to say God is moving you on, And as you settle in to your new Role, may you discover that He is Maturing you once again, fitting you for His plan. But dear Pastor Mike and Letitia, My heart is divided. I wish you God's best as you go, But at the same time, I wish you Could stay. (I've been reading the book of
Exodus and finding life lessons for today.) When God delivered His people from Slavery in Egypt, He called it a new Beginning for them. So momentous was the event that Even their calendar from that time Forward would begin with the Exodus month. * We have lots of new beginnings in Our own lives. We get married, We lose a spouse, We change jobs, We move, We retire, We fail at an endeavor, pick up the Pieces and move on. Each new journey we undertake Involves beginning again. But we don't go back to square one. We pick up where we stopped. We carry with us the valuable Lessons we've learned from our Past experiences. Because of what we've discovered During these last dismal 12 months, may We face the beginning of our new Year with more confidence and Courage knowing we can trust the One who is in command. Exodus 12:2 She's not sure how she found my blog, but
Somehow, we connected, I the seasoned One, and she a younger widow who Lives far far away in Saskatchewan, Canada. I needed to look at a map to remember Where the province is located. She lives on a cattle farm. Her oldest son was recently married and the other Two still live at home, each grieving the Loss of their dad. For a long time her youngest son slept on The floor in her room. "For himself," she said, "but I think also for Me. He didn't want me to be alone." Three fine sons. Bit by bit I'm getting to know the woman, How she met her husband and how she and Her boys were singing his favorite song to Him as he took his last breath. She's learning to live without him by Leaning on Jesus. And she's getting to know me, How I'll always be a farm girl at heart and That I'm still leaning on Him too, Always leaning and always learning that His Compassions are new every morning. Sharing our burdens and blessings bridges the Span between my new friend and me. Saskatchewan doesn't seem quite so Far away. After a funeral folks are eager to
Leave and get their lives back to Normal. But for the spouse left behind normal no Longer exists. And trying to adapt to a new one is a Painful, unpredictable process that Takes a long, long time. I saw the man, a recent widower, standing by
Himself at church and gave his Shoulder a hug. Words weren't really needed. We often say, after a dear one dies, That life goes on. But it's not life as we once knew it. We walk with a limp. Our hearts are ripped. Our emotions are wounded and Tender. At times it's hard to breathe. Life does go on, but it's an altered Existence, and we compensate by Leaning heavily on the One who holds Us up and keeps us going. Today is Thanksgiving.
It falls on the day that Jack Died four years ago. The juxtaposition of the days Brings a mixture of Grief and gratitude, Longing and laughter, and Loneliness, too, even though I am Surrounded by a loving family. But I'll accept the emotions as they Come and go, Ebb and flow, Grateful that giving thanks is always Possible, No matter how I feel. |
Dorothy Kalb Hsu Seitzinger
Writing poetry has helped me process and express my sorrows and joys, my concerns and blessings. "Life is hard, but God is good!" Archives
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