Forty eight years ago I was in agony, Laboring to deliver my first child. I remember wondering how the world could Be so populated. Surely, no one would endure the experience Twice. But as the Bible passage states: "When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow Because her hour has come, but when she has Delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the Anguish, for joy that a human being has been Born into the world." * It's true. My pain has diminished to just a long ago Memory. I recall just enough for bragging rights, Laughing rights. But my joy only increases. I'm blessed and humbled to be her mom, overjoyed at Who she's become. I don't often get to be with her on her birthday, but I was at her first and I'm delighted to be with her today. I already sang to her this morning face to face. And I've already baked her cake. "Happy Birthday dear Missy, Happy Birthday to you." *John 16:21 |
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My brain was stretched at our college reunion as I
Suffered the Rip Van Winkle effect, trying to Recognize classmates I hadn't seen in Fifty years. Age is a great equalizer. I felt right at home, like I belonged. The activity was non-stop and my Quiet time was put on hold. After the packed weekend I'm back Home emotionally and physically depleted. I need to decompress like a Diver returning to the surface of the sea. I need to wait awhile to put my things away. I'm trying to absorb what I saw, what I heard, and to Make sense of it all, trying to regain my Equilibrium. I'm especially grateful to have my Private time with my Father restored. I missed our quiet fellowship and I Imagine He did too. My college days are a blur.
But I remember remnants of them. Shy days, unable to speak out in class days, Fun days, too; playing pranks on my roommates, Sneaking a pregnant cat into our off Campus house and hiding her kittens in The closet. Giving up on God days when I questioned my Faith, but finally returning to Him because Nothing else made sense. Making life-long-friend days and Reconnecting on Facebook. I wish I could re-do those four years utilizing The wisdom I've gained from surviving a Depression, The death of two husbands, and nursing one Of them through dementia. I'm not that shy collegiate anymore. God changed me, Grew me, Renewed me, Developed boldness in me that sometimes Makes my kids and grandkids cringe. "What will Grandma say to the waitress or Clerk?" they wonder. I'm proof that we can grow even when we're old. God can mold us into His image when we can barely Recognize ours in the mirror. Life has sandpapered my rough edges, Eroded my desire for things and increased my Desire for Him. Classmates, let's sing a song. Let's laugh long. Let's finish strong as we press on toward home. Her husband died a month ago and she
Still hasn't cried. His death was sudden and I suspect she Is still numb, cushioned, cocooned. "It's okay," I told her. "Don't force it. We each have our own timetable." When my widow friend least expects it The tears will come. And if she's like I was, they won't be Gentle ones, but they will wash over her like a Torrential flood, a gasping for breath deluge that Will propel her on towards healing. Pondering life from my
Easy chair, I ask, "Lord, are You really there?" I answer my question with a question. "If not, Why am I here?" My life makes absolutely no Sense without Him.
As I lifted my bags of frozen fruit onto
The checkout counter, I noticed that the Cashier was wearing two bracelets. "Can you tell me about them?" I asked. "Sure." After the friendly fellow explained their Meaning I asked him, "Have you ever seen one Like mine?" "No," he said, but he was intrigued by it. As I handed it to him I was glad that no one Was behind me in line so I had time to Explain the colored gospel beads to him. "Have you ever prayed to Jesus and Given your heart to him?" "No, I haven't." "Wow! You're my divine appointment for The day!" I exclaimed. "I'll pray for you." At that exact moment a friend from Church came up behind me in line and Said, "And I'll also pray for you." The three of us laughed at our Unexpected encounter. But my Jack always said, "You're in real trouble if You have a praying Grandma." And now Carter has two. Years ago her daughter was in an
Accident and was disabled for years Before she died. God met the mother in her anguish and Carried her along. Today, she told me her husband has Cancer. I hugged my friend and looked into her Hurting heart and trusting eyes. She can't retrieve the strength God Gave her back then. She must start all over again. But it's good to look back and recall His mercies. It's comforting to remember that the Ever faithful One never changes even When the affliction does. |
Dorothy Kalb Hsu Seitzinger
Writing poetry has helped me process and express my sorrows and joys, my concerns and blessings. "Life is hard, but God is good!" Archives
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