Driving home from church, I prayed for guidance. "Lord, where shall I eat today? do you have A divine appointment For me?" When I drove up to One restaurant, It was too crowded. And then another Name entered my Brain. Yes, I'll go there. My waiter was named Bryan, (With a "y" not an "i", He told me.) After I ordered, I Told him I would Be praying in a Moment. Did he have a request? Yes! His mother had Lost her job months ago, and His grandma had just died. I explained that God Had sent me there. "You mean, God sent You to encourage me?" "Yes, I believe He did." Then I gave him two Tracts I had written, One for him, and one for Kathy, his mom. (I forgot to ask if it Was with a "C" or a "K".) He tucked them in His pocket. As Bryan checked back Now and then, I learned more About him, But it wasn't till he gave Me my bill That I was the one who Was surprised. On the back he had Written these words: "I keep my Eyes on the Lord. With him at my Right hand, I Will not be shaken. Thank you." Further, Pointing to his side He said, "Those words are Written right here On my body." Astonished, I Replied, "You must be a Believer too!" "Of course," he said. God sent me there, It's plain to see, But was it so Bryan Could encourage me? |
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Jack's close friend was Pastor Dick who's been gone for years now. But his wisdom lives on. Jack wrote down one of Dick's stories, and I found it tucked in a book this morning. It lifted me up, and I want to share it with you.
" Pastor Dick tells the story of one of the ladies in his church that had been severely burned over most of her body. She was in the E/R and sent for Dick. As they met they both knew she was dying and Dick wanted to comfort her, but she ended up comforting and encouraging him. Her words provided the outline for her funeral message which Dick delivered a short time later. She said, 'I'm not afraid. I know where I'm going. Share the gospel with those members of my family that are not saved.' She lived and died the three Christian 'graces.' I'm not afraid-Faith I know where I'm going-Hope I'm concerned about the lost-Love" I want those words to be the Outline of my life too. How about you? "There are three things that will endure-faith, hope, and love-and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13 Be aware of our dear friends who experience situations like the following every single day. How can I convey the sadness?
Now I know how
Jack felt. He was always the Only man at our Condo Bible study. But he felt right at home With the seven ladies. So I know he would Have approved of My meeting today. For the first time, I was the only Woman among a Group of eight. We had a common Bond, since each of Us was widowed, But I wondered, Could I relate? As I began to share, I could tell by their nods, Their affirming smiles that These men Simply understood. They're strong. Uncoupled now, They lift each other up As life tries to Pull them down. They're silent. They hide their Hurt inside. "It's hard for men to Share," they said. But not for me; So I let my words Pour out, More than enough For us all. It's good to unleash Our grief, For the speaker And the listener. I believe we all Healed a bit today. And as I spoke All my unease Was gone. For just like Jack, I felt perfectly At home. Jack's condition has a
Name; Lewy Body Disease. It's also called Lewy Body Dementia, but the "D" Word still frightens Me, so I prefer to say "Disease." Few people know it Even exists, Though it is quite Common. Now, an incident that Occurred years Ago makes sense. One night, Snuggled in bed, Jack socked me. When I shook him Awake, He was distraught and Apologetic. "It was a violent dream," He said. I've learned that those Night time outbursts Are an early sign of the Disease. I'm so very grateful I didn't know. Dementia. We all know someone facing the tragic illness that steals away a mind. Some of my friends are facing it with their folks or spouses right now. During my journey with jack, I met challenges I never could have imagined. I guess it's not surprising that I wrote down my thoughts then, too, to help me cope. I decided to share some of them on Facebook and my blog. I hope they will help you understand the courage it takes to face the sadness and sorrow of slowly losing your loved one. When one of my writings deals with the topic, I will write these words by the title: D Days.
Everyone's Forgetful (D Days) I was surprised when Jack forgot a familiar Route on our Way home that day. He was totally mixed up. I tried not to be Overly alarmed; For I'm forgetful Too. I'm always losing my Car keys, And forgetting names. I laugh about it. My dad got confused at Times, and his Mind was still clear At ninety five. That will be my Jack, I reasoned. And, indeed, he did Regain his bearings And we made our Way safely home. But I didn't feel like Laughing. Fear began to fester Inside me. Somehow I sensed What was coming. Somehow, I knew.
For a long, long time in the grieving process, every little thing reminds us of the one who is gone. Throughout the day, or when waking up at night, a song, a smell, a picture, a tool he used, or a hat he wore brings him right back front and center. Probably the most poignant is to open a drawer and find the last Valentine he sent me, or a box of his mints, or his hearing aids. It's the unexpected, the unsuspecting punch that knocks me off balance for a moment. Recently, it was opening the freezer door.
When I awoke at 4:00 A.M.
It was raining, Not a quiet shower, But a fierce pounding on The window storm, Demanding to be heard. The bed felt big, I felt small, And so alone. Nighttime heightens Everything: The rain, The pain, The by-myselfness. My hands can't keep Busy to distract me like In the daytime, And only my thoughts Keep working. So I forced myself To focus them on Him. I pictured Him right Beside me Tending to my needs, Pouring ointment On my wounds And binding them up With His bands of Love. I imagined Him winding The soft gauze Around, and Around, and Around the tender Spot inside. The quiet movement Continued on and on In the dark, Calming my spirit, Giving me peace Until the rain faded away And I was lulled back To sleep. (So much better than Counting sheep.) "He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3 |
Dorothy Kalb Hsu Seitzinger
Writing poetry has helped me process and express my sorrows and joys, my concerns and blessings. "Life is hard, but God is good!" Archives
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